Blue Man Group
Your attention please.
Thank you for choosing Earth as your planetary vehicle.
We hope you enjoy the many wonderful features of this Planet as you hurtle through the Cosmos.
Please note however, that in the event of continued inaction in the face of global warming your seat cushion can be used as a flotation device.
Also, please take a moment to locate this Planet’s emergency exits. As you can see, there aren’t any.
Earth to Humanity, can you hear?
Sending out a message. Loud and clear.